Mindfulness

Coming Home

| Richard Stiles

We all get homesick at times. We long for the comforts of our own space with our own things, somewhere we can truly be ourselves, somewhere we know we are loved. We may travel to far off lands and exotic islands but nothing compares to coming home.

In our lives it can feel like we are often far from the comforts that we associate with home. The idea of a safe place may be limited to a few hours away from the world of work, commitments and responsibilities. Even our own houses can fell like a prison sometimes. The pressures of family life and relationships may leave us feeling that we never get enough ‘me time’. But who’s time is it if it isn’t our own?

What if we could shift our thinking on this? What if we could feel at home wherever we are and whoever we are with? All of the time we are wanting to be somewhere other than where we actually are, we are saying to ourselves “this part of my life is not worth living. It doesn’t fit with what I think my life should be.”

Life happens regardless of what we think, feel and assume about it. Our bodies are breathing and our hearts are pumping all of the time that we are alive – right here, under our very noses. Wherever we go we take this body with us – a constant companion and a home for our sense of connectedness. We are always at home. It’s just a question of whether we are aware of it or not.

What is it about home that we love so much? Maybe a sense of not being judged, accepted for who we are? If we can we bring this same attitude to our own bodies and to our own experience of life, then maybe we can start to feel at home wherever we are.

The train on the track

| Richard Stiles


It’s natural to not always want to be in the present moment. It can be uncomfortable, dull, unpleasant or it may not fit with our assumption of how our life should be right now. We all do this – it’s universal. This can actually be useful. It can allow us to daydream and think of the changes we want to make in our lives. However, if we find ourselves constantly wishing we were somewhere else or living someone else’s life, then we really not living at all.  Continue reading →

What’s the buzz about Mindfulness?

| Richard Stiles

What’s the buzz about Mindfulness?

You’ve probably heard of mindfulness. We seem to hear it everywhere these days, from politicians to head teachers, from your local GP to Ruby Wax. Everyone’s jumping on the band wagon. So what’s the buzz all about?

Mindfulness is not new. It has been around for thousands of years in eastern traditions but has taken off in the West relatively recently. Over the past 30 years or so, many studies have shown that practicing mindfulness regularly can increase your sense of well-being, your tolerance to pain and your ability to concentrate. It can also help with depression, anxiety and feelings of stress.

Mindfulness is simply about paying attention to what’s happening right now, without judging it. You don’t have to be sitting on top of a mountain wearing an orange toga to practice. It’s not mystical or about reaching a spiritual Nirvana but simply being aware of your life as it’s unfolding, moment by moment. You can do it anywhere, at any time.

Here’s a question for you. When was the last time you noticed your little toe? Probably when you stubbed it on a door, right? We notice our bodies when we are in pain. How about noticing them when we are at peace?

 

How do we do it?
There are two parts to mindfulness practice. There’s the formal or sitting mediation for 10-20 minutes a day. This is where we exercise our mindfulness muscle – a bit like going to the gym but for the mind. We purposefully sit and pay attention to something, often the breath. When our mind wanders, which it will, we simply bring it back to the breath. If the mind wanders one thousand times, we bring it back one thousand times. There’s no judgement about doing it right or wrong. We just notice what there is.

The second part is an informal practice of becoming more aware as we go about our day. It might be noticing how it feels to get up out of a chair or to walk to the fridge. Every moment is an opportunity to practice. Practicing a formal mediation on a daily basis will make this easier.

How often do you go to pick up your tea or coffee only to realise you’ve already finished it? We can go through a lot of our life on auto pilot, not really noticing it at all. Try this next time you have your favourite hot drink: really notice the weight and feel of the cup as you lift it towards your lips. Notice the temperature and the steam rising on your nose. What can you smell? Stay with these sensations for a few seconds before taking a sip. When you do, notice how your mouth changes shape as you take in a little liquid. Notice the sensation as it passes down your throat. Don’t worry if your mind starts to wander. Just try if for a few seconds at a time. We take for granted these everyday occurrences. But if you think about it, most of our day is made up of seemingly inconsequential actions. If we are not aware of them we are in danger of letting the majority of our life slip by unnoticed.

 

My top 5 mindfulness tips

  1. Keep it simple. There’s no need for the ‘correct’ posture or scented candles and chimes. Just follow your breath. Try it now.
  2. Be kind to yourself. If your mind wanders you’re not doing it wrong. Your mind is designed to wander. Noticing that your mind is elsewhere is a moment of awareness.
  3. Use all of your senses. What do you see, smell, taste, hear, feel?
  4. Slow down. Try doing everything at half the normal speed. Make each movement purposeful.
  5. Take time in the morning. When you wake up don’t just jump out of bed. Take a moment to notice the weight of your body on the mattress. Notice your breathing. Welcome yourself to this new day.